Filling out this form will generate a message that is sent to a third party who will translate the general idea of what you have said in terms that are easier for the author to understand. The hand written note will then be placed on a pillow next to a large mahogany desk, where it will sit, waiting for the author to arrive; coffee in hand, warm in his silk writing pajamas and custom typing gloves, hopefully in one of his less volatile moods. If you would like the latest and hottest news on his various ambitions, you can subscribe to his mailing list.

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