When properly medicated, Jason reads a story exactly 250 words in length followed by some rambling nonsense to help you transition away from the addictive thrill nine out of fifteen listeners experience when being read to by a grown man with the voice of a tender loving wall of sentient granite. Scroll down to listen to past episodes, or even better, subscribe via your fancy phone: iTunes, GooglePlay, TuneIn, PlayerFM. You will never be alone again. Congratulations. (Read a profile on the podcast over at LitHub.)

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Auction

Auction

Jason Porter

Oh, like we are supposed to know what anything is about anymore, as if we can just write in here some brief explanation when all the $#!t has gone full on bonkers. Why don’t you tell us what this is about for once. Jesus. Make an effort.

Assist

Assist

Jason Porter

Our brains are our best feature and we are using them to build something to take their place so that we can drool in a corner, or maybe it will all be fine.

Thrum

Thrum

Jason Porter

We are back with something that feels like it was bent and then stretched and then imprisoned and then released and then mistranslated and then turned into a glass trinket at the shopping mall. Yours to enjoy. Free of charge!

Escape

Escape

Jason Porter

Time is somewhere and wherever it is it is seemingly endless, like our time with the current former current president, endlessly predictable in its suffocating sense of endlessness.

Breakfast

Breakfast

Jason Porter

Episode two is totally off the rails. But in our defense there is a nationwide rails shortage.

Bonus: This episode includes a free song that will tickle your terror bones.

Fuck

Fuck

Jason Porter

A new season and an old nemesis. Catch back up with all your favorite characters and learn clever ways to enhance your love life. Our award winning sponsors can’t wait to offer you some very exciting new products. Tune in now!

Touch

Touch

Jason Porter

Did you ever notice how nobody seemed to notice that nobody was noticing because we were all too busy not noticing?

Monkey

Monkey

Jason Porter

Take a step into the past, where you were just another hairy kid longing for speech.

Love

Love

Jason Porter

We are all alone together.

Assassinate

Assassinate

Jason Porter

We were gone for a while, but so were you. This much anticipated installment is a story posing as a rant posing as a story. Also, a new sponsor!

Collide

Collide

Jason Porter

A lot of things happen on an airplane despite nothing actually happening on an airplane.

Stumble

Stumble

Jason Porter

Time is like an uncomfortable canoe.

Childproof

Childproof

Jason Porter

The future is whenever.

Consent

Consent

Jason Porter

It’s that time of year. Take care of yourself. Remember that spiritual fulfillment is in none of the places major advertisers are telling you to look. There is nothing under the tree that is going to fill your many voids. But, you do look great in that sweater and your egg nog is, once again, out of sight.

Pretend

Pretend

Jason Porter

We only have so much time and yet we mostly waste it. This podcast is also a waste of time, but under five minutes, so maybe listen while on the toilet.

Isolate

Isolate

Jason Porter

An exciting episode that may or may not be an allegory about the creative process.

List

List

Jason Porter

While we do things we start to think about other things forgetting sometimes that all the time we are absolutely nothing.

Party

Party

Jason Porter

Are we robots? Are robots us? Are we us?

Post

Post

Jason Porter

Love is mostly feeling fine about mostly not feeling love in the way you mostly thought you might.