In this country, we are drowning in false choices and sclerotic deliciousness. This week’s story mines our demise for several minutes of uproarious hijinks.
Bend
None of our stories are the same, except for the ending.
Question
Duke Ellington should be on the dollar bill by now. That's not what this story is about, however. It's about making the most of a limited dating pool and life’s cruel bio-mechanical disconnections.
Drift
Do all parking lots connect eventually?
Judge
A lot of stuff happens, and it’s all bad.
Cook
There are times when we must overcome the visual so that we might better focus on the victual.
Wave
Our lives are only moments shuffled inside our heads while we die. This episode definitely proves whatever that last sentence means, probably.
Remember
If you don't promise to keep a journal today nobody will believe that we once wore mittens in November.
Doctor
Sometimes it is difficult to avoid creative differences when making art with your preferred medical professional.
Mother
Some children are brats and their parents are brats too. Brat was also the name of a short lived automobile, but that is a fact entirely unrelated to this story.
Agree
Because we are stuck in a linear understanding of our experience, we insist, in the moment, that Betamax is the future of home video.
Disembark
Is anything really true anymore? Can extraterrestrials save us? Is dad really dad?
Find
In the peak of mosquito season we are often susceptible to unorthodox, and frankly risky, means of itch reduction. Be careful out there, listeners!
Drip
It’s important to remember, but easy to forget, that we don’t all feel the same way about shopping.
(This story first appeared in issue 3.1 of The Maine Review. )
Snack
What if our snack food diets merged with our erratic weather systems all while the corporatocracy finally admitted they didn’t give a damn about the twins’ medical bills?
Drive
Any story set at the DMV is going to involve an uncomfortable and frustrating waiting period. You might want to bring along something to read for this one, or a gripping podcast.
Look
The airport waiting area is a an ecosystem where manufactured breezes ruffle our comatose feathers.
Hellicopter
You know we know it’s bad, and we know more or less why it’s bad, but only because we can’t imagine how bad it really is, though we all know it’s really bad, but not in ways we can explain, because it’s too bad to untangle. But it's definitely bad.
Befriend
Best friends are the best. It's not up for debate.
Fold
Life is unfair because it doesn't smell as good as in the commercials. It’s also unfair because we throw mounds of food away while people go hungry. And yet again because our current president demands poor afflicted children be placed in cages. Have a happy Monday!