All the elves are on furlough, so this is the best we could come up with, and let’s be honest, it’s a disappointment, but you’re used to that by now.
Explore
There is a lot of space in space.
Obey
Here is a story about a depressing sounding place where a kid is asking questions and his stuffed friends are doing their best to give some sound advice.
Toss
Salads, salads, salads (and kids in cages).
Pump
A shallow dive into a divided America.
Respect
Oh no he didn’t. Oh yes he did.
Talk
This one guy walks into a bar.
Paddle
This is a story about how the author is afraid we’ll all soon be dumb and afraid and nobody will remember how to make electricity.
Frown
Dumb stuff blurs along in shapes and sounds you reassemble in your imagination because it’s a gift your brain gave you, and because you’re bored, and secretly anxious and fed up and scared and tired and nearly deceased. Enjoy!
Fool
It’s so hard to buy things and feel like a winner when buying things makes you feel like a loser.
Survive
The new normal is still the old normal which under normal circumstances will probably end in our extinction. But think of the clearance sales!
Chill
Are we still doing this? What is this? When is tomorrow? Who ordered this pizza?
Deprive
We used to think we couldn’t wait to get a little time to be alone.
Tango
An unusual engagement announcement springboards off of speculation on butterfly coitus.
Let
People used to go to large auditoriums and crowd near each other, screaming out mists of germs while rubbing elbows and swaying against other bodies while handsome musicians sang about banal lusts.
Dunk
If you are giving a gift it is a good idea to brand it with an identifying mark in case somebody tries to steal it and later on you run into the thief in another time zone.
Grow
Mother nature doesn’t think much of you.
Trust
These days lifting oneself up by the bootstraps means performing your own medical procedures on yourself with money you had to borrow from Aunt Helen.
Roll
This is one of those cute stories where you think: Well, I guess that was cute, if you are into that sort of thing in a miniature story.
Perch
If fans could talk, they’d be all, “What’s with all the shit?”