When someone invites you into their beard, keep in mind that you may never find your way back out.
Every filthy boring neglected rest area has a rich history which is largely unknown to its daily urinaters.
Being married to a man is probably nobody’s idea of a vacation.
High school was a place where bad people grew into new people who were sometimes also still bad people.
Somebody is going to need to jazz up the afternoon session of this sales conference or I’m going to have to do it myself.
An inside look into the future of romantic luncheons.
A high number of lives include a dad, or dad shapes, or at a minimum something in the shadows urging us to cut our hair.
Sometimes we believe it, and we feel it, and we express it with our bodies, until we are forcibly hospitalized.
Before you wash the officer, you need to ask yourself, am I following the cleaning protocol?
It’s hard to get a fair trial these days with all the clowns and quarterbacks vying for selfies.
Life is full of sandwiches full of meats full of additives full of smells.
A doctor is a person we pay to explain our health to us.
A breathtaking glimpse into the world of tomorrow.
Take a vacation from feeling good about taking a vacation.
In one of our future realities people will play games that cause fake pain to distract themselves from all of the real pain.
A lakeside luncheon with unexpected guests, or a frolic in a mountain lake with a peeping observer who smells like tuna salad and human sweat.
If only ants could laugh, then they would be having the last laugh, but they’re too busy to laugh, especially since they can’t.
Some guys are just those guys who aren’t going to get it, and then they probably won’t get it all over again, until they finally marry their mother.
In the future there will be no past. It will be merged with the present, and our historical tour guides will have gorgeous voices and also sell and administer our toiletries.